Perhaps I have bad karma, or perhaps I have offended some ethereal personality in the non-corporeal realm, but I often feel that many things I try tend to backfire.
Take "Happy New Year," for example. I recall several years ago, when returning to work the day after the holiday, a co-worker breezed by and said that to me. I failed to acknowledge him; I was in a conversation with someone else, but heard him out of the corner of my ear. Then, later the same day, he caught up to me in a hallway and wished it again.
A month later I lost my job. Two months later he lost his. And it has been all downhill ever since.
And it's not just the new year. Don't tell me you are praying for me. That also seems to make things worse. And don't tell me that something really good is going to happen for me very soon. That sort of prophecy will have me hiding my head under the covers, afraid to show my face.
Certainly the converse approach does not work. Don't tell me to have a flat tire, or incur big overdraft charges at the bank, or pick up a virus in hopes that I will enjoy a new car, monetary prosperity and excellent health. It doesn't seem to work that way. I don't know how to advise you, exactly, I'm just saying I don't understand how all of this works, but I am forming a pattern for how it doesn't work.
It has gotten so bad that I have given up praying for an end to poverty and hunger, and for peace on earth. I'm terrified that my negative karma may be a kiss of death for the whole world.
Apparently, I am powerless to control my destiny, but I am free to do the best I can. I'd like to speak up for disadvantaged people, be a good friend to my friends, and stand up for what I believe is right.
And hope for the best.
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